“ | Nothing personal, we're just not big on love.. | ” |
—Van in The Jizz Mitzvah
|
Van the Logic Rock is a secondary character of Human Resources in the second/last season and serves as an antagonist/anti-villain of Emmy's story arc in Season 2. She is a rock creature who represents logic. She works for Human Resources and serves as the logic rock to Sarah. She first appeared in "The Jizz Mitzvah". She is voiced by guest actress Miley Cyrus.
Biography[]
Van first appeared in "The Jizz Mitzvah", where she was the logic rock of Sarah Krummhorn. She did not like it when Emmy showed up because her presence as a lovebug would mess things up for Sarah. Van propogated a lifestyle of not getting too emotionally attached to men so that she could maximize pleasure and minimize pain.
Appearance[]
Van is a tall, gray rock person, who's head looks like a 20-something girl with a combover. She wears a blue shirt with a black jacket over it and long tan jeans.
Personality[]
Van is at first shown to be a rather cool and tomboyish, if a bit emotionally distant, sort of girl. Although she admits that she is rather romance-adverse, she nevertheless establishes goodwill with Emmy the Lovebug and even begins dating her. However, all that leads to Van showing a more negative personality, a nihilistic, mean-spirited, hedonistic, defensive monster full of self-pity and disrespect for others who oppose her, like Walter. She is so determined not to show any vulnerability that she shuns everyone around her, with the exception of her client Sarah, who she influences to feel the same way, which puts her at odds with Emmy when she is assigned to be Sarah's love bug and whenever someone attempts to steer Sarah in a more healthy direction, Van interferes, not wanting Sarah to be vulnerable. One episode shows that her bad attitude stemmed from clients who she grew emotionally attached to dying from old age because she is immortal. By the end of the season, through the acts of Emmy and Sarah's father, Paul, Van finally gets her act together and gives up her nihilistic ways.
Relationships[]
Co-Workers[]
- Emmy Fairfax -
- Mona -
- Walter Las Palmas
- Pete Doheny - Pete and Van were longtime rivals since childhood. She thinks she’s better than he is, but she regrets their competition and lifelong rivalry.
Clients[]
Episode Appearances[]
- The Jizz Mitzvah
- The Tell-Tale Dick (Mentioned)
- A League of Their Hormone
- Rochelle, Rochelle
- Paul Me By Your Name
- Tony: The Life of an Office Cold
- On the Daughterfront
- Yipee Ki-Hate, Motherfucker (Cameo)
Trivia[]
- Her dating Emmy, another female, instantly labels Van as a lesbian. Her voice actress, Miley Cyrus, is pan.
- Van seems to represent the toxic type of logic. Compared to Pete, who's main goal is to influence humans to make smart decisions, Van sees logic as just a way to indulge her hedonistic lifestyle that she brings onto others.
- Van tells Sarah that she found out that Miley Stuart and Hannah Montana from the titular show were the same person, a reference to Miley Cyrus' role as both characters.
- The main reason of her negative behavior towards Sarah is because of the deaths of her closest clients, so she fears she might lose her as well.