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Guy's Law Commercial
Guy's Law Commercials are paid advertizements, created by Guy Bilzerian to promote his lawyer business. The commercials are known for being very sketchy and unprofessional. They are a recurring element in Big Mouth. They are usually referenced when someone (usually Jay) says something extremely crude, offensive, and/or inappropriate to which another character will reply to him by saying "Stop quoting your dad's law commercials.", meaning that Guy's commercials actually contain those kinds of sentences.

Biography

The first mention of Guy's law commercials was in the episode "Am I Gay?", when Jay encouraged Nick to spread false rumors about Jessi. Nick refused to do something so harmful to his friend but Jay told him that she's not his friend anymore. She was his friend but then she became his lover and later, his enemy. Nick told Jay to stop quoting his dad's law commercials.

In "Sleepover: A Harrowing Ordeal of Emotional Brutality", Jessi called out the game Hooker Killer for being misogynistic on account of its element of killing women. Jay assures Jessi that there was a difference between women and prostitutes and Jessi told him to stop quoting his dad's law commercials.

In "Pillow Talk", Jay suggested that he and Pam abort their upcoming baby but Pam refused. Although the answer to abortion was a definitive no, Jay just put it out there that abortion is an option until the baby starts crowning. Pam told him to stop quoting his dad's law commercials.

In "The Head Push", Daniel was being called out for trying to force Leah to give him a blowjob. Daniel said that all he wanted was a blowjob at a high school party and that there was no shame in that. Jay yelled at him saying, that only he gets to quote his dad's law commercials.

One of Guy's Law Commercials appeared on screen as the cold opening for "I Survived Jessi's Bat Mitzvah". It started with a disclaimer, saying that Guy's commercials are not approved by the New York Bar Association. The commercial opened with Guy saying that he was an attorney at law and family man, who would happily abandon his family to give his clients the divorce settlement they deserve. Guy made it public knowledge that his wife was institutionalized twice and that his three delinquent sons were delinquents. Guy promised to help his clients fuck over their bitch ex-wives and asshole ex-husbands in court and added the oddly specific comment that anyone who does magic is a disappointment to his father, which was a thinly-veiled swipe as his son, Jay, for doing magic. Lastly, Guy stood by a tombstone with a piece of paper reading "Love" taped to it. Guy said that marriage was a shame and love dies as he told the audience to call "555-LUV-DIES" to get in contact with him and dropped a grenade into the grave hole. Guy ran away, telling Jay to continue rolling (implying that Jay was recording the commercial) and the commercial ended with an explosion and his son screaming in terror.

Later in the episode, Jay quoted the exact law commercial that was shown earlier, when he told Jessi that love dies and that they can bury the body together, while on the topic of his dad's problem with adultery.

In "The Pornscape", the kids took a field trip to the police station and looked at the crime lab, where they analyze DNA evidence. Jay claimed that "DNA" doesn't exist and is just a lie created by homosexual scientists. Jessi told him to stop quoting his dad's law commercials and Jay flirtatiously told her that maybe he will stop. Jessi flirted back, telling him that he'd better not dare to stop and the two proceeded to make out.

Later in the episode, Andrew was arrested for allegedly killing Karl Lagerfeld but Andrew pleaded innocent. Andrew told Nick that people thought he was a serial killer when in actuality, all he was guilty of was chronic masturbation. Guy Bilzerian entered, making his on-screen debut, as the lawyer who bailed Andrew out, telling him to stop quoting his law commercials.

Quotes

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