|“||And now you're worried you're a homosexual? Nicky, a man can touch another penis, or even kiss one, very lightly, and it still doesn't necessarily mean he's a homosexual.||”|
—Elliot Birch to Nick Birch in Ejaculation
Elliot is a white-skinned man with dark-brown hair that has two visible light brown streaks and light blue eyes.
He wears a blue vest, a pink shirt, dark blue pants and dark orange shoes.
Elliot was born to unknown parents in an unknown time who went to school, graduated from college and he then went on to pursuing a job as a cardiologist where he married Diane Birch and had three children whom he named Judd Birch, Leah Birch and Nick Birch. Sometime before, during, or after this, he bought the house that Duke Ellington died in and where the Ghost of Duke Ellington currently resides.
In Season 1 Episode 1, he very openly admits that he loves his family who also tells Nick and Andrew Glouberman that he loves them as they are leaving the dinner table. Later on in this episode, he admits to Nick that he doesn't have a very big penis, and that touching or gently kissing another man's penis is not gay.
- Diane Birch - Diane is Elliot's wife.
- Judd Birch - Judd is Elliot's oldest son.
- Leah Birch - Leah is Elliot's only daughter.
- Nick Birch - Nick is Elliot's youngest son.
- Am I Gay?
- Girls Are Horny Too
- Pillow Talk
- Requiem for a Wet Dream
- The Head Push
- I Survived Jessi's Bat Mitzvah
- Am I Normal? (Non-Speaking Cameo)
- What Is It About Boobs?
- The Shame Wizard
- Steve the Virgin
- The Planned Parenthood Show (Imagination)
- Drug Buddies
- Guy Town
- Smooch or Share (Mentioned)
- The Department of Puberty
- My Furry Valentine
- Girls Are Angry Too
- How To Have An Orgasm
- The ASSes
- Disclosure the Movie: The Musical!
- Super Mouth