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Everybody needs to chill the fuck out.
Alice Wong in The Tell-Tale Dick

Alice Wong is a recurring character from Human Resources. She is a disability rights activist with spinal muscular atrophy and perinatal asphyxia. She first appeared in "The Tell-Tale Dick". She is voiced by Alice Wong.

Biography[]

Alice Wong first appeared in the episode "The Tell-Tale Dick", where she scored a hot date with an attractive guy named Shawn, who followed her on Twitter. Rochelle went down to her apartment to help her get ready for her date but she made it abundantly clear that she should keep her expectations low, in case anything goes wrong. Rochelle was accompanied by Hope, who contradicted this entirely and encouraged Alice and Rochelle to set their hopes sky high, since there's always an off chance the date could go beautifully. Although Rochelle was hesitant about this at first, Hope's musical number, "Have a Little Hope", changed her mind completely and she let this mindless optimism rub off on Alice. Alice went on her date with Shawn to The Tavern but they were blocked by some stairs, much to Alice's disappointment. Hope didn't let this ruin their night, as the nice little restaurant, La Cucina was right across the street from there and it was wheelchair accessible. Their date went fine at first, until she was approached by a couple of stupid abelist assholes, who told her about what an "inspiration" she was, not because of her work, but just because she was in a wheelchair. Shawn stood up to defend her and called them out on their bullshit but this all went downhill pretty quickly, when Shawn described Alice as his "colleague" instead of his "date", destroying her expectations. When asked why he asked her to dinner, Shawn said that it was to "pick her brain" and also added that he already had a girlfriend, which made Hope bail out on the date all together. Shawn asked to get connected with Alice's publisher, which is where Alice drew the line and told the ableist asshole to suck her butt and lick her balls before storming off to go put him on "the list" at home. Ultimately, Alice was mostly just mad at herself for getting her hopes up in the first place.

In "Rochelle, Rochelle", Alice worked at her computer at home and was still bummed out about her bad date. Rochelle was now in the form of a hateworm with her. Alice got a video message from her landlord's friends, Traci and Olivia Diaz and their austistic son, Sal, who didn't seem to know how to speak. Traci and Olivia told Alice how at Sal's School, they are segregating the disabled students into the basement floor and it was time for Alice to protest against it. Alice gathered together an entire protest against the school and the excellent turnout of supporters for disability rights got her hopes up high enough for Hope to return, much to Rochelle's chagrin, as she was still pissed at her for how she made Alice's date worse than it needed to be. Traci introduced Alice to her brother, Dev, who Alice fell in love with. Alice's hope was brought up very high when Dev told her that her protests for disability equality in the school was being taken in for review, which was the first step to success.

In "Pity Party", Alice was on her computer again, when she was attacked by a bullshit FaceBook post from her mom, who sent out an inspirational picture of Hitomi Onishi with a caption that said "THE ONLY DISABILITY IS A BAD ATTITUDE", which really pissed Alice off, since it made her think she would never be enough for her. Fortunately for Alice, she finally got some good news from Traci and Olivia, saying that the school finally overturned the ableist ban, which she already heard from Dev, who she had the horny hots for. To celebrate, Olivia and Traci invited Alice over for dinner. Alice went to the dinner party and had tons of fun there but she and Dev did not like the selection of a matcha cream pie with a flaxseed protein crust, so she and her boy decided they should just ditch them later for some real food as their dessert. After dinner, Sal came into the room and made a bunch of noises, trying to communicate that he wanted a Tonka Truck as a toy and everyone scrambled to guess what he was talking about before Olivia finally found out it was actually a truck he was asking for. However, when Alice heard Traci say something about how Sal could do whatever he wanted with the right attitude, this reminded her of that annoying post her mom made earlier that day. Rochelle fueled Alice's rage, to the point where she made the mistake of ruining the moment by calling out Traci and Olivia and demanding they stop putting so much pressure on him. Alice tried to explain how putting unrealistic expectations on a disabled kid is going to make him ultimately hate them, which ruined the moment and made Olivia cry. Alice apologized for saying stuff but she had already overstepped and gotten herself kicked out. Alice went to apologize to Dev and ask if he was still into going out with her later but Dev rejected this, saying that this was a dick mom. Alice was left alone once again but Rochelle told him that she didn't need Dev to make her feel bad since the world is shit and everyone in it sucks.

In the episode "Yipee Ki-Hate, Motherfucker", Alice tells Rochelle that she is going to Sal's preschool, because he was being bullied by his schoolmates, but Rochelle won't let her. Later, Rochelle (now turned back into a lovebug) went to apologize Alice, and told her that "you're a bad bitch who helps people", and hate makes you angrier until you give up. After their pep talk, Alice agrees to help her community more. Before she left, Rochelle tells Alice that her friends are lucky to have her and that she’s proud to be her lovebug.

Appearance[]

Alice Wong is an Asian adult woman with pale skin, brown eyes, and short-cut dark raven hair. She rides around in a motorized wheelchair and wears a white endotracheal breathing tube over her face. Alice wears a blue baggy shirt with a built-in scarf, red parachute pants, and black and white shoes. She never wears a bra unless its for special occasions.

Personality[]

Alice Wong is a negative and nihilistic woman, who seems to be as burdened emotionally as she is physically, by her disabilities. Besides obviously being born with medical conditions, there have been several unfortunate circumstances that she has fallen victim to over her years, which has given her a very pessimistic outlook on the universe. However, this does not stop her from being proud of herself and unapologetic in who she is. Alice is a very sassy and sarcastic kind of gal, who's always quick with an eye roll or a middle finger, whenever somebody pushes one of her buttons, of which she has many. For starters, she rejects any "pity" that others feel the need to give her and she also completely despises the stigma that "the only true disability is a bad attitude", which, unfortunately, is propagated to her by her own mother on a regular basis.

Relationships[]

Friends[]

  • Sal Diaz -
  • Traci Diaz -
  • Olivia Diaz -

Creatures[]

Love Interests[]

  • Shawn -
  • Dav -

Episode Appearances[]

Trivia[]

  • Alice Wong has spinal muscular atrophy and perinatal asphyxia. To help her with these disabilities, she uses a motorized wheelchair and endotracheal intubation, respectively.
  • Alice Wong is essentially a self-insert of her own voice actress, who she draws loose inspiration from. The real Alice Wong also a disability activist, who has the same disabilities and has gone through similar life changes as her character. [1]
    • In 2022, the real Alice Wong lost her voice, which must have been shortly after she finished recording her character's dialogue that same year. [2]
  • The one thing she wants people to get out of her work is that "everybody needs to chill the fuck out".
  • Alice never leaves her apartment for anything unless it's business related.
  • Alice usually never wears a bra.
  • Alice has a list of all the people who she wants to have killed and canceled.
    • KILL
      • Kotie Yeyeh
      • Tyler Rudeman
      • Nathan Tacoberg
      • Claudio Punccini
      • Glenn Dodpiss
      • Willy Hoffhole
      • Glenn Tube
      • Brad Polumbo
      • Ronny Rutabafa
      • H.E. King
    • CANCEL
      • Aziz Ybarra
      • Col. Padoodey
      • Cleveland Banas
      • DJ Egg Boy
      • R. Rusty
      • K. Saltslacks
      • G. Glenn III
      • Tim O'Jrippee
      • H. Butterbeef
      • T. Doodledandy
  • She is a graduate of Purdue University.
  • Alice gives out her email to too many people.
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